Today is the first day of my final exam, but then things really doesn't goes well....
I did my revision last night until 4am and then went to sleep and set my alarm to be 6am, 6.30am and 7am.... cz i tot to wake up in the morning to do final revision before going to exam. But mayb i am too tired recently until couldn't hear the alarm at all. Until when i woke up this morning, is already 9.20am, and my exam started at 9am. I was shocked, really scared, dunno wat to do and quickly run to uni hopefully to sit the exam on time, because according to the rules, if we are late for 30min during the exam then we are not eligible to sit for the exam and need to repeat this subject for next year. I reached there at 9.40am and supposed to be late but i beg the lecturer to let me sit for the exam and at last, he agreed, i was really grateful to him, otherwise, i have no hope to graduate at all.
The paper end at 11am, i sat at 9.40am and i was stil in a shock condition, i am scare and shivering all the time. Seeing the time passed minutes to minutes, my heart really beating fast and even gastric. I really too worry until i couldn't think of anything. Supposingly the question not very hard and i can do it, but then i am really too worry until i mess up everything inside my mind and at last, i really couldn't write out anything that can contribute marks for my exam.
I felt disappointed as i studied hard for this subject but then end up like this. I studied hard on this first subject cz i know very well on myself that, each exam period, i will never get the best result for the first paper, because i will be very nervous for the first paper, stress until i really cannot do it well, that's well i know myself very well that i will never do well in the first paper. I tried hard to cope with it, tried hard to not to make myself so nervous and be calm, but still cant.
I thought it is ok if i cannot pass this subject because i still have another hope for the supplymentary paper. So after the exam, i went to the office lobby to look for supp paper's time table, to my surprise, no time table for supp paper at all, then only one things come to my mind "is there still a supp paper for us" ? Because, the uni examination system did changed before, i am not sure start from which year, the new batch of students tat come in will no longer have supp paper anymore. If they fail in the paper, they wil need to repeat it on the next sem. This subject is a elective subject for me, and is combined with some other course's junior. So, what m i worry now is that, will it be because of this, we are actually having no more supp paper now ?
I really have no hope at the moment. If there is no supp paper for this subject, then i will not be graduating this sem. I will make my family disappointed, but what can i do now ? I feel sad when think that i cant graduate this sem, i feel worry and nervous when think that i have make my family disappointed.
I am really losing hope now ... four more papers ahead, but i dunno how to face everything anymore ~~~
1 comment:
my dear, since it already happened, better don't think too much on it, and you sitll have other papers to face!
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